Why We’re Letting Go of Resolutions and Choosing Intention Instead

The New Years Promise

Every January, many of us arrive with hope in our pockets and pressure on our shoulders.

We promise ourselves this will be the year things finally change. We set ambitious resolutions. We aim high. And for a little while, it feels energizing.

But then something familiar happens. Momentum fades. Life interrupts. The plan becomes harder to follow. And quietly, often without realizing it, we disengage… not because we don’t care, but because the way we’ve been taught to pursue change isn’t designed to support us long-term. This isn’t a personal failure. It’s a structural one.

The Hidden Problem With Resolutions

Traditional resolutions are usually framed as outcomes. Endpoints. Arrivals. Lose the weight.Fix the habit.Become the better version of yourself. The issue isn’t aspiration. Wanting more for ourselves is healthy. The issue is that resolutions often skip over the middle… the part where real life, nervous systems, history, and capacity live. When the gap between where we are and where we think we should be feels too wide, the body responds with overwhelm. Not inspiration.

This is why so many resolutions fade quietly rather than failing dramatically. There’s no moment of collapse. Just a gradual loss of energy, interest, and belief. And by the end of the year, many of us are left with the same thought…Maybe I just didn’t try hard enough.

Intention Works Differently

Intention doesn’t ask us to arrive somewhere by a certain date. It asks us to orient.

Instead of focusing on who we want to become, intention invites us to pay attention to how we’re moving… how we’re choosing… how we’re responding along the way.

An intention might sound like:

• moving through the year with more honesty

• choosing what is sustainable over what is impressive

• building trust with ourselves through follow-through, not force

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Intention doesn’t remove ambition. It refines it; keeps growth connected to our actual lives, rather than an imagined version of ourselves that exists only under perfect conditions.

Why Big Goals Can Backfire

When resolutions backfire

There’s nothing inherently wrong with big goals. But when they stand alone, without structure or support, they can unintentionally create paralysis. Large goals often feel abstract and emotionally distant. And when progress is hard to measure, the brain struggles to stay engaged.

This is where meaningful milestones matter. Milestones break movement into something the nervous system can tolerate and the brain can recognize. They create moments of completion. Evidence of progress. Proof that effort matters. Instead of one towering objective, milestones create a series of steps… each one reinforcing confidence rather than eroding it.

Milestones Build Trust, Not Pressure

One of the most overlooked aspects of growth is self-trust. When we consistently set expectations we can’t meet, even with good intentions, we weaken our relationship with ourselves. Over time, motivation fades not because we don’t care, but because we no longer believe our effort will lead anywhere meaningful.

Milestones repair that relationship.

They allow us to experience completion. To celebrate movement. To notice change while it’s happening instead of waiting for some future version of success to appear. Small doesn’t mean insignificant.Small means repeatable. And repeatable is what changes lives.

Intention as a Wayfinder

A helpful way to think about intention is as a wayfinder rather than a destination.

It doesn’t dictate every step. It simply keeps us oriented when life shifts, plans change, or momentum slows.

When we drift, intention invites us back without judgment. When we pause, it doesn’t label that pause as failure. It simply asks what the next honest step might be. This flexibility is not a lack of commitment. It’s a deeper form of it.

What 2026 Can Offer

Meaningful Milestones with Intention

We don’t need another year defined by pressure, self-criticism, or all-or-nothing thinking.

We need a year rooted in presence. In self-awareness. In meaningful milestones that reflect real life, not ideal conditions. When intention leads, progress becomes something we can feel, not just imagine. And growth stops feeling like a performance and starts feeling like participation.

If this perspective resonates, there’s a short podcast episode that explores this theme from a more conversational angle. The two are meant to work together… one to listen to, one to sit with.

However you engage with it, the invitation remains the same... We don’t need resolutions. We need intention and the willingness to move forward one honest step at a time. Heres to 2026!